I was asked to speak to a group of women this week on worry. And as you have probably noticed, whatever is in my head usually shows up here.
Have you ever nibbled on something while actively worrying? Either trying to soothe yourself, or as a subconscious, mindless distraction? I bet the answer is yes, and it is for me too.
So, what is worrying? Is it necessary? I’ll answer the easy question first: no, worrying is completely unnecessary. One of my favorite quotes from Eckhart Tolle echoes this – “worry pretends to be necessary”.
Worry is an emotion that results from a thought about the past or our future. But we can’t change our past, and it is not necessary to worry, to be able to take the right actions in our future.
Without worry, you might find yourself accomplishing more than you ever thought possible, actions we take while worrying are rarely productive. So how do you start the process to end all the worry?
Try these three steps:
1) Stop and ask yourself – what are you worrying about? Get specific, don’t just identify it as a vague feeling. Then ask yourself, what is the worst-case scenario? Don’t avoid acknowledging it, it’s only in your subconscious anyway!
And guess what? Many things we worry about are already happening! We worry about not losing weight, but often that is exactly what is already happening now. This worst-case scenario is reality, but it’s not permanent.
2) Next, identify the facts about what you are worrying about. Make peace with those facts – they are neutral. In the weight loss example, the facts could be: 1) the number on the scale 2) you don’t know if you will lose weight in the future or not and 3) other people have lost weight on this program. The rest is thought drama that creates the worry.
3) Finally, make a decision about the things you can control. Not the past or future – the right now. You can control the way you feel based on what you chose to think. My most successful clients almost never spend a lot of time in worry. They think thoughts of what is possible and why things will work. Those thoughts produce feelings of competence and optimism that generate the actions that create their weight loss results.
Don’t let worry win. You know what the beautiful part about all of this is? You get to make the decision to never worry. You can be careful, cautious, aware, protective and safe – all without an ounce of worry and the mindless munching that can go along with it.
