I am always teaching self-compassion and self-care. They are an essential part of my program. Why? Because we cannot “hate ourselves” into becoming thin. In fact, it typically has the opposite effect.
As backwards as it may seem, the self-loathing almost always instigates the behavior we were berating ourselves about in the first place. It’s a vicious cycle, but the first step to breaking that cycle is understanding that self-care will truly help produce the lasting results you are seeking.
But be careful how you define self-care, and take notice of the practices that you tell yourself fall into that category. For example, a client said to me last week, “If I am feeling really overwhelmed, I will let myself have a treat.”
To her, this seemed like self-care. But giving into a craving and eating something that is not good fuel for your body is NOT self-care. Taking care of your body and giving it what it truly needs is true self-care. This includes quality food, exercise that you enjoy, spending time with people you love, and activities that bring you joy and help you feel fulfilled.
Pay attention and watch your sneaky little mind. Compassion and curiosity are always the answer when you don’t meet your own expectations. Self-care NEVER has a negative long-term result. If something you are doing does, stop defining it as self-care.
So, starting today, test your self-care practice. Check yourself for real results, and pay attention to your brain when it tries to justify an action that will only provide short-term, immediate gratification.
Don’t forget, we’re playing the long game here!
